Cease to Pray?

by Michele Roach

When—if ever—is it prudent, biblical, or mandated that we stop praying about a specific area in our lives that God in His infinite wisdom, has yet to answer? Paul repeatedly asked God to remove the thorn from his flesh, and God finally answered that His grace was sufficient. But how do we apply this to ourselves? Does God get sick of us whining about our afflictions? Does it offend Him that we repeatedly ask Him to relieve our chronic problems or pain? And if it does, how are we supposed to know when we crossed the line from “Hey, just askin’; ya know, if it’s in your will and all…” to “HOW ‘BOUT SOME HELP DOWN HERE ALREADY?!?”?

I don’t think that it’s unreasonable to believe that we as humans with our sometimes broken bodies, minds, or spirits, can somehow miss the Holy Spirits’ whisper that denies such prayer requests. None of us ever liked being told “no” by our earthly father (even if it was for our own good), but usually at some point if we refused to listen, he would raise his voice; perhaps even his hand. But without a booming and audible “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!” reprimand from our Heavenly Father, how are we to know when (or if) we should cease praying?

When I was a brand new believer I visited my sisters’ church for Easter; a rural Southern Baptist church with a small congregation. Besides some of the hymns being unfamiliar, and observing my first alter call, it was just another uplifting Easter Sunday service. (As a nominal Christian for many years I had become pretty familiar with what Easter and Christmas services looked like, but not so much the other fifty Sundays of the year.) However, as the pastor proceeded with the prayer requests of the congregation, he spoke on behalf of a man at the end of my pew. He was a slight man, mid fifties, who sat by the window with his head hung in what appeared to be shame. The pastor explained that this congregant has suffered for years from chronic, debilitating back pain, but that he no longer feels that it is proper for him to pray for himself to be healed (although he now is asking for his church family’s intercession on his behalf??).

I was befuddled…and after many more Easter-tide seasons, I still am. Why could he no longer pray for his own healing? And if God had revealed a Paul-like epiphany to him, why then was it acceptable to request others to pray for him?

Four years ago, we were blessed to finally buy a home after more than a decade of renting. However, to say it was a handyman’s special is an understatement. We spent six months renovating our house with our bare hands; but my husband’s hands took the brunt of the punishment. We found in the months to follow that he had undiagnosed arthritis in his hands (and now feet), and that the use and abuse of his joints in the process of rebuilding our home added decades to his swollen, painful digits. This excruciating, endless pain has begun to affect many aspects of his (and my own) life; work, family, finances, and spirit have all been damaged by this chronic pain. I believe that he is at the point that he too doesn’t want to continue to beg God to remove this thorn from his flesh, if it will never be in His will. Recently he told me that he doesn’t want me to solicit the prayers of others; church family or otherwise. He is exasperated and embarrassed, though I can’t quite fully grasp the later.

I cannot begin to convey the heartbreak of watching my beloved suffer this way. When I sob on his chest, feeling helpless and lamenting his agony, he expresses worry about me; he vows to not complain, as to not upset me further. I sob harder yet. I have to believe that God hears and feels his pain; He laments it as I do. Could our loving God actually tire of his children’s prayers to Him, even if they are denied over and over again?

Here is the flip side of the coin…and some may disagree with what I am about to say: I have a strong disdain for the “name it and claim it” philosophy within some churches. I have seen irreparable damage done to believers (and non-believers) who were told that their loved one is sick or has died because they didn’t pray hard enough; or that they didn’t believe enough when they did pray. You can quote me wonderful scriptures about faith the size of a mustard seed, and moving mountains, but the fact remains that people, children, Christians, suffer horrible afflictions every day; many subsequently dying. God could intercede for them, and certainly He does when He sees fit; it is even biblical to believe that He sometimes intercedes because of our prayers. However, why is it that we can hold on to the notion that ultimately the outcome relies on us somehow…that we can pray too little or too much for something? To those who sustain such beliefs, where does that leave our Holy, Sovereign God? Where does that leave His longsuffering children who in their strife have nothing to cling to but their faith that He hears our weary prayers?

Yes, His grace is sufficient.

No, I will never cease praying for His grace.